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Fate with 10q26.1

Mentioned about 10q26.1 is not a secret code, is a rare chromosomal syndrome that my client has. In the report in year 2007, only reported 60 cases of 10q25 and 10q26, maximally around 70-80 cases currently. I tried to locate some research articles about this syndrome, unfortunately it was really minimal.

Not to mention about the physical aspects, this syndrome comes along with learning and behavioral difficulties such as short attention span, easily distracted, outburst of aggressiveness, self-inflicting harm behavior and easily frustrated. Usually, there is no apparent trigger.

It talks about nature and nurture, I strongly agree with both factors affect greatly on the persons and their significant others. It could affect their learning, social interaction, and even well-being. Behavior does not happen in vacuum, yet it is also challenging to modify one's behavior if the behavior is in-build in their system.

Having this client with me, is my blessing but also challenging. Looking at your client struggles so badly that is out of their control, is painful and emotionally. Despite effort to calm them down, their anxiety seems to be heightened and displays more aching behavior such as pulling hairs and biting hands. At that moment, is their moment. They are out of control like a devil is manipulating their body.

At that moment, I tried to physically control and calm my client. At the same time, I felt bad to look at this young girl who harmed herself. Although she pulled my hair, bite and pinched my hands, I just couldn't help to empathize her. I can't afford to scold her, maximally being firm and negotiate with her. I knew her behavior like this is going to cause her trouble, because she will be punished by her parent. I know how afraid she is, yet she couldn't help to display these disruptive behaviors.       

Looking at the mark on my hands, I am emotionally and physically fatigued. I feel her pain, and I also know how difficult she is for the parents and teachers. By defending for both sides, I'm great that I able to stay calm. I hope that wisdom is on me, and I will be able to help her.

I feel good to write, at least have some relief.

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房间

锁在房间里,自己一个人的空间。。 享受着自己的气味。。 房间,是我逃避的避难所。。 小时候,我会在黑漆漆的房间哭泣。。 让眼泪自由的掉落, 不敢痛快地哭,因为会被骂。。 会把自己藏在被单里默默的哭泣 所以,只有我的床能够感觉到温温的湿度。。 也许,这是从小养成的习惯, 长大了,还是觉得房间是我的私人空间。。 因为,房间才能让我把情绪抒发。。 特别是负面的情绪。。 现在,有股冲动, 不想出门,只想待在房间里。。 就算发呆。。 我想,与世隔绝。。 只是与亲近的人联络。。 逃避自己。。 不想面对自己。。

失眠

辗转难眠,睡不好,又睡不着。。 少了风扇的旋转,地板还是冰冷的。。 我的手,也是。。 冰冷的手,为何没有冰冷的心呢? 脑袋特别的清醒,但是却给了我一双疲惫的眼睛。。 事情总是没有两全其美, 我要入眠,却失眠了。。 我要头脑简单,却更复杂了。。 我要。。却得到不要。。 没想到,嗜好就是睡觉的我,也会失眠。。 失眠并不好受,有理由的失眠更加的不好受。。 理由,这也许更本并不是一个理由。。 死脑袋,又发生故障。。 让我睡吧,我不要有头脑,我不要有思绪,我不要有情感。。 原来,失眠就是这样。。